Of Werewolves and Vampires
by She's So High
Summary: In which Sirius has a thing for vampires and a crisis Remus helps solve, Remus develops a crisis and takes matters into his own hands, and werewolves always win the epic battle between evil creatures of the night.


Of Werewolves and Vampires

By: Lady DeathAngel

Disclaimer: Not mine, not profiting, 'nuff said.

Warnings: slash and a lot of it, hot kisses, language, sexuality, all the good stuff.

A/N: This has been sitting around for a while, unfinished. I got bored and decided to finish it, so here ya go. Note that this takes place before the prank, that it is pretty much without plot, and that I don't know quite what I was on when I started this. Also, it's self-betaed, so there will prolly be mistakes and that makes me a sad panda. I hope you like it though! Please read, enjoy and review!

"I think he's a vampire."

"No way he's a vampire. They aren't that greasy."

"Or that stupid."

"But . . . well, he could be."

"Read up on them, no way he could be."

Peter Pettigrew sighed and the four continued on to their dorm. It was a cool night, late in March. It'd been wet for a week solid, and not a casual kind of wet either. Rather, it'd been pouring sleety rain for the past seven days and that didn't make for good tempers or interesting conversations. Things had been a bit bland. At least until halfway back to Gryffindor Tower. They'd been considering pranking Snape again, but that would be the fifth time in as many days and James had said he didn't like being predictable.

That was when Pete had said he thought Snape was a vampire. Which had halted them all in the middle of the staircase to frown at him. After disproving the theory, Pete looked a bit deflated and they all felt a little bad, but really? Snape couldn't be a vampire, as Sirius said a few minutes later, "They're too damn cool."

"They are not cool," Remus said.

"Are so," he shot back. "I mean, okay, a bit _dangerous_ . . ."

"Only a bit, Padfoot?" James said with a smirk.

Sirius just shrugged, pulling off his shirt and slipping out of his trousers.

"I've always had a bit of a thing for vampires," Sirius admitted. "They're kind of sexy."

Pete rolled his eyes, buttoning up the top of his pajamas.

"That's only because of the last spread in 'Bewitch Me'," he said.

Sirius got a fondly wistful look on his face.

"Yeah, true," he said, thinking about the picture of the two 'vampires' in the photos.

Although, only Remus knew he wasn't thinking about the buxom female model. Instead the pervy little poofter was thinking about the male model. Not that Remus could blame him. Even James had groused about how sexy he was, and lucky too, to be shagging the model.

"They don't really shag, though, do they?" Pete had asked.

"Doesn't matter," James had answered. "If I had her half naked beside me and I was kissing her all over, I don't think I'd settle for just a photo shoot."

"That's 'cause you think with your cock, Prongs, and not your head. Lily's always saying it," Sirius said.

"Yeah, well, Lily would know, wouldn't she?" James retorted, pouting slightly.

"Only because you haven't stopped stalking her since last year," Remus said with a slight smile.

Later that night Remus, who hadn't been able to fall asleep, had heard muffled curses coming from Sirius' bed and had made his way over to see what was wrong. His friend was sitting with his wand lit and the magazine open on his bed, glaring at the picture slightly.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" Remus asked curiously.

Sirius didn't seem that startled, just raked a hand through his black hair.

"I'm having a crisis," he said, sounding positively put upon.

Remus climbed up in his bed and muttered a silencing charm. He sat across from him, the magazine between them. The models were doing a very good job of getting each other off in one of the pictures and he gnawed on his thumb the way he always did when he was aroused. Of course, now was not the time. Focus. Sirius was having a crisis. Deep breath.

"What are you, um, having a crisis about?" he asked hesitantly.

"Moony," he said, apparently having ignored the question. "Who're you attracted to? In the picture, I mean. Who'd you rather fuck?"

He flushed.

"Er . . . I dunno . . ."

"What about James?"

"The girl, obviously."

"Exactly! Pete too, I'd bet."

Remus frowned.

"And that's relevant . . . how?"

Sirius gave him an exasperated look.

"Because I'd rather fuck _him_," he said quite honestly. "I mean, I'd wondered for a while of course. I've kissed tons of girls and it was just . . . wet. Gross. Too complicated. And I've _thought_ about kissing blokes and even _thinking_ about it's better than actually doing with a girl."

"Well, maybe they were just bad kissers," he suggested.

He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but I shagged Martha Brown and that was just . . . I mean, I only got through it thinking about a bloke."

Remus frowned.

"Wouldn't that have made it pretty clear?"

Sirius sighed, flopping back on the bed.

"Argh! I don't know. Yes. It just . . . I dunno, it's different now. Maybe it's just hitting me. Hey, I know!" he added, sitting up again with an unholy glint in his eye.

Remus swallowed hard.

"What?"

"_You_ could kiss me Moony. To see if I like it better."

"Um . . ."

"I mean, unless you don't want to. You probably like girls too, don't you? Damn, I'm so stupid."

"No, it's all right." Remus rushed to assure him. "I mean, yeah, I like girls. But I've been curious too. You know, about blokes."

Sirius smiled.

"All right, then. Will you kiss me?"

He almost said no. But then he thought, what the hell? This was one of his best friends. Who better to experiment with? At least this way it would never get out to anyone he didn't want to know. At least this way he could try it with someone he trusted. So he nodded slowly and Sirius grinned.

"Close your eyes," he said softly, enthusiastically.

Remus swallowed hard but did as he told and he swallowed hard again and squeaked when he felt Sirius' hand on his thigh. His eyes shot open and he saw him looking down at him with a small smile.

"Don't worry," he said. "I'll be gentle. Promise."

Remus snorted.

"What's the point of that? Any girl can be _that_."

And Sirius smirked and he realized that he _got_ it. There was something about girls that was all well and good, but only if you were willing to put forth the effort and be all gentle and comforting and shit like that. It wasn't for Remus. He'd tried it and he rather liked _not_ being in charge. Like with his friends when he could just sit and watch and not have to worry about doing the right thing. It wasn't like that with girls and he didn't ever want it to be like that and that was why he closed his eyes and didn't freak out when he felt Sirius' lips against his.

His hands traveled up Sirius' bare chest, over his shoulders and around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair when the kiss deepened. Sirius pulled him closer and slanted his lips over his, sliding his tongue into Remus' mouth. The exploration wasn't shy. He licked over the roof his mouth and tongue like he owned it, like he belonged there. Remus moaned softly and sucked on Sirius' tongue, contracting the walls of his mouth around it and felt, more than heard, his friend's groan.

"Mmmm, _God_," Sirius said, withdrawing his tongue.

Remus just smiled and took the opportunity to do a bit of his own exploration. He slipped his tongue into Sirius' mouth this time. He tasted spicy and Remus rather liked it, so every time he tried to pull away and just breathe his tongue would slide back in with a mind of its own. Sirius had rested his hands on his waist, fingers sliding under the fabric of his t-shirt, barely touching the skin there. Still, it was enough to make him want a firmer touch and he made a sound between a mewl and a growl to tell him so.

Sirius understood and ran his hands under the shirt and across his back, kneading the flesh and pulling him even closer so that their chests were pressed together, lips slipping wetly over each other. Remus dragged his lips away from Sirius' and pressed them to the taller boy's throat. Sirius tipped his head back as Remus licked and sucked at the salty skin of his neck. Remus felt entirely too self-satisfied when he bit down not-quite-gently and Sirius groaned his name.

And then Sirius was pushing them both backwards and Remus' shirt was gone and Sirius was attacking his chest with hot, open-mouthed kisses and nips and licks and sucks. Remus arched upward and let out harsh breath.

"Sirius," he whispered when the dark-haired boy dipped his tongue into Remus' navel. "Sirius . . . wait . . ."

Remus silently cursed himself for saying anything when Sirius went still above him.

"Sorry . . ." he said, moving off of the werewolf and falling back against his mattress.

"No," Remus said, turning his head to look at him. "It's not you. It's just . . . well . . . you liked it, right?"

Sirius snorted and glanced down at the erection tenting his pajama bottoms.

"Yeah . . . me too," Remus told him with a smirk.

"Oh. That's . . . good?"

"I guess. Kind of weird though." Remus rolled over suddenly and pushed himself up on his elbows, his side pressed against Sirius'. "Does this mean I'm gay?"

Sirius lifted an eyebrow.

"I don't know. Could just mean I'm that sexy."

Remus rolled his eyes but grinned.

"I guess we got you out of your crisis then, right?"

"And gave you one of your own."

Remus didn't deny it, just smiled and sat up.

"I'll figure it out," he said quietly.

The next morning Peter frowned at the sight of Sirius' throat. Remus, who was flipping through a book, couldn't stop chuckling while their friend tossed out tons of theories.

"I think it was Snape," he said. "I tell you, he can turn into a bat and he flew up here and he mauled you."

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"It wasn't Snape," he said with a look of disgust. "My assailant was much hotter."

Remus flushed and looked up in time to see Sirius throw a wink in his direction. Just then James stumbled out of the bathroom looking half-asleep and like he'd dressed in the dark. With a grunt in their general direction he headed toward the door, mumbling about breakfast. Sirius followed him with a sigh and a shake of his head and Peter and Remus trailed behind.

Things went back to normal after that. Sirius told James he was gay and then Peter and after that, he took some kind of perverse pleasure in interrupting their rather frequent 'Who's Hotter' discussions with commentary about how much he wanted to fuck random guys, making James and Peter turn varying shades of red and purple. Remus spent much of that time trying to figure himself out. He ignored, for the most part, the looks that Sirius shot him and he pretended that he didn't miss the prat always manhandling him or leaning on him or leaning in close.

Of course, he wasn't so good at ignoring it at all, and after a confused two weeks, he realized that gay or not, he was desperately in lust with Sirius Black. So, when the conversation found it's way back to vampires that March night, Remus came to a conclusion. He was going to make a bloody move because apparently Sirius was trying to act chivalrous or something, and all he really wanted was for the bastard to seduce and fuck him, hard. And then Remus wanted a role reversal and the next night, he wanted to start all over again.

So as soon as Peter and James were asleep, he climbed into Sirius' bed, muttered a silencing charm, and lit his wand. Sirius, who hadn't been sleeping yet, blinked up at him and frowned.

"Moony?"

"I've been thinking," Remus said, straddling Sirius' hips.

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Oh?"

Remus nodded.

"Mm-hmm. See, I've got his problem." He leaned forward lapped at the seam of Sirius' lips, leaning back when they parted. "Sort of a crisis, I guess."

Sirius groaned softly and arched upward.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Remus breathed, leaning forward once more, this time to speak directly into Sirius' ear. "I think that I may be madly in lust with this boy I know." He bit down on his earlobe and grinned at Sirius' gasp. "I can't stop thinking about him . . ." He trailed his lips down the column of Sirius' throat. "About kissing him . . ." He sucked at the skin just above his collar bone. "About _fucking_ him . . ." Sirius groaned again at that.

"So?" he hissed out from behind clenched teeth.

"So I was wondering if you'd help me out. Because I have this theory that the Sirius in my dreams is better than the real thing."

Sirius barked out a laugh.

"Liar. You want me so much I bet I could make you come in your pants."

Remus grinned down at him.

"So? Why don't you show dream Sirius a thing or two?"

Sirius smirked up at him and then they were kissing for the first time in weeks and it was as good as the last kiss they'd shared. Better, even, because now they knew where they stood with each other. This time around it wasn't about figuring anything out; it was about hands and teeth, lips and tongues, hard cocks and wet mouths. They spent hours mapping each other's bodies. Remus discovered that if you sucked on Sirius' bottom lip he whimpered and Sirius figured out that Remus' ears were sensitive enough to make him cry out and nearly drive him to an orgasm.

Later that night, while they lay curled up next to each other, grinning madly and feeling remarkably lethargic, Sirius spoke.

"You know, I reckon that vampire bloke's got nothing on you," he muttered.

Remus smirked and shrugged.

"I'm a werewolf. We automatically win the epic battle of the evil creatures."

Sirius snorted.

"I dunno, Moony. Snape's pretty scary for a bloodsucker."

"He's got nothing on me, Padfoot," Remus assured him.

"Anyway, I wouldn't be caught dead shagging that greasy wanker, so you win that battle too."

Remus mumbled that that was a bit of a one-sided battle anyway and Sirius laughed loudly and beyond the boy's dorm, the rain continued to fall.


End file.
